Our Man Stan

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" rowspan="2" width=210 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <A HREF="id59.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Aussie Yarns"><B>Please click on this link below to go to the main Yarns page</B></A></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Assorted Stories</U></B></div> <div> <A HREF="id35.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Claude1"><B><U>Claude The Crow</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id56.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Claude Rturns"><B><U>Claude Returns</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id60.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Swivel Head"><B><U>Swivel Head the Koala</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id36.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Ghosts in the bush"><B><U>Ghosts in the Bush</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id37.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Max"><B><U>Max</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id38.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Great Bed Race"><B><U>The Great Bed Race</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id39.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Mr Webster"><B><U>Mr Webster</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id41.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Big Red"><B><U>Big Red</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id40.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Them Aussies"><B><U>Them Aussie are Tuff</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id42.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cokklebid"><B><U>Cokklebiddy</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id43.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Marriage in the Bush"><B><U>Marriage in the Bush</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id44.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="7 Strippers in Paradise"><B><U>7 Strippers in Paradise</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id45.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Brotherhood"><B><U>The Brotherhood</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id46.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Lady Penelope"><B><U>Lady Penelope</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id47.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Gday Mate"><B><U>Gday Mate</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id48.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Duke"><B><U>The Duke</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id49.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Bluey"><B><U>Bluey</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id50.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Walkers"><B><U>The Walkers</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id51.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Inventer"><B><U>The Inventor</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id52.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Lumpy"><B><U>Lumpy</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id53.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Madeline"><B><U>Madeline</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id54.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Stan the Pot Man"><B><U>Stan The Pot Man</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id55.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Our Man Stan"><B><U>Our Man Stan</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id57.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Bert The Cook"><B><U>Bert The Cook</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id58.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Coober Pedy"><B><U>Coober Pedy</U></B></A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=82 style=" border-bottom: 1px solid #999980;" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="0408dfe1egerdp.jpg"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" ><B>Glenn-Harris</B></FONT><B>     </B><B>|</B><B>     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="GlennHarris"><B>home</B></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" height=398 width="100%" colspan=2 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="0408dfc3.jpg"> <div> <B><U>Our Man Stan</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>There were 12 of us, all sitting down to dinner, it was one long table with 6 of us on either side, all was quiet, we were waiting for "Cook". The sound of a glass breaking, and an oath sworn, sounded "Cooks" arrival.</B></div> <div> <B>Cook was a gentle woman, well we figured that at some stage in her early life she had have been, that's before she entered a life as a cook, for our camp, but now she was just plain mean.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>A good description of her would be long black hair, 5'5” tall weighing in at 15 stone, no one had ever seen her eyes, she always wore sunglasses, even at night.</B></div> <div> <B>She had one passion and that was for whisky, she drank a bottle a day, usually starting early in the mornings.</B></div> <div> <B>When cook was sober her food was eatable, but when she was drunk it was very much inedible. But cook always made you eat the food whatever it tasted like. So as one we moaned because we knew Cook was plastered again.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>This night was a little different, we had welcomed into our camp, Stan. He was a travelling Pot Man, he visited all the homesteads in the bush and sold Pots, Pans and general kitchen utensils. Stan was a happy fellow, always quick with the wit, but if you crossed him, then he was not a happy man.</B></div> <div> <B>Tonight Stan was sitting at the head of the table, he was our guest.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Cook staggered in much to the surprise of Stan, she spilled food as she made her way to the table. It was Kangaroo meat balls again.</B></div> <div> <B>Stan took a mouthful and spat it out, saying what crap this was, Cook picked up a rolling pin and advanced on our pot man. booze dripping from her mouth, her lips uttering something.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I remember taking in the scene, it looked like two fighters advancing on each other both looking for blood, in one corner was Cook, a rolling pin in one hand and a piece of un-cooked steak in the other, she had been chewing on this. </B></div> <div> <B>She wore her favourite t'shirt on it were the words “ Instant Idiot, just add beer”. In the other corner was Stan, he opened his coat and pulled out a 9” frypan, also a sauce saucepan, he came prepared.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The fight began, Cook lunging a right hook, Stan blocking it with the sauce saucepan, and following it up with the frypan, into her. For 1 whole hour this went on. Each striking and paring, both looking for blood.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Now for the rest of the guys, we watched this for awhile, then just went to bed, leaving them to it. In the morning neither Cook or Stan could be seen. The camp was a shambles though. I was elected to go into Cooks tent to find out about breakfast, when I got there I saw both Cook and Stan all rolled up together in her bed. It seems that after they had beaten the crap out of each other, they had got friendly.</B></div> <div> <B>I asked Stan later about how it happened, he just shrugged his shoulders and smiled, well I think it was a smile, cause his face was a bit battered and bruised.</B></div> <div> <B>Also Cook was the worse for wear, mind you she was rather proud of the indent that the bottom of the frypan had left on her check, if you looked real close you could read, “Sterling Silver, made in England”.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I often think about how these two met, and what ever happened to them, they did marry, she gave up the booze and last I heard they bought a homestead together.</B></div> <div> <B>I sometimes wonder if when they had a fight, did they still beat the crap out of each other.</B></div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>