Big Red

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" rowspan="2" width=210 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B><U>Assorted Stories</U></B></div> <div> <A HREF="id35.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Claude1"><B><U>Claude The Crow</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id56.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Claude Rturns"><B><U>Claude Returns</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id60.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Swivel Head"><B><U>Swivel Head the Koala</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id36.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Ghosts in the bush"><B><U>Ghosts in the Bush</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id37.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Max"><B><U>Max</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id38.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Great Bed Race"><B><U>The Great Bed Race</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id39.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Mr Webster"><B><U>Mr Webster</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id41.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Big Red"><B><U>Big Red</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id40.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Them Aussies"><B><U>Them Aussie are Tuff</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id42.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cokklebid"><B><U>Cokklebiddy</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id43.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Marriage in the Bush"><B><U>Marriage in the Bush</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id44.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="7 Strippers in Paradise"><B><U>7 Strippers in Paradise</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id45.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Brotherhood"><B><U>The Brotherhood</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id46.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Lady Penelope"><B><U>Lady Penelope</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id47.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Gday Mate"><B><U>Gday Mate</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id48.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Duke"><B><U>The Duke</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id49.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Bluey"><B><U>Bluey</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id50.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Walkers"><B><U>The Walkers</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id51.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Inventer"><B><U>The Inventor</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id52.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Lumpy"><B><U>Lumpy</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id53.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Madeline"><B><U>Madeline</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id54.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Stan the Pot Man"><B><U>Stan The Pot Man</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id55.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Our Man Stan"><B><U>Our Man Stan</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id57.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Bert The Cook"><B><U>Bert The Cook</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id58.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Coober Pedy"><B><U>Coober Pedy</U></B></A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=82 style=" border-bottom: 1px solid #999980;" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="0408dfe1egerdp.jpg"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" ><B>Glenn-Harris</B></FONT><B>     </B><B>|</B><B>     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="GlennHarris"><B>home</B></A></div> <bR> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" height=398 width="100%" colspan=2 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="0408dfc3.jpg"> <div> <B><U>Big Red</U></B></div> <bR> <div> In the outback, there are different types of businesses that travel around, one type is the amateur boxing rings. These are basically fighters that are so well trained that if you are stupid enough to get in the ring with one, then, well say your prayers prior. </div> <div> One such group entered Meekatharra, its a town north of Perth, I think about 600klm's north. Well me and me mates were as usual drinking at the pub, and in rolled this troupe, and set up their tents in the park. We wandered over, there was a chap waving his arms around saying that any of his fighters would take any locals on in a fist fight, if they won then the local would get $100.</div> <bR> <div>  Well when you are sober, you would think twice about doing something like this, but when you are drunk, its really strange how you feel you can do anything, and so it was with about 4 local lads. </div> <div> Each hit the dirt at different angles, each with pride badly bruised. Finally when there were no heroes left. Joey, my mate - stepped forward and challenged the ring master to a boxing match, but said that he would put up $5000, on his champion, that he would be the only one left standing in the ring after 10 minutes. Well when money is mentioned in the bush, all ears prick up, but $5000 was a lot of money, the ringmaster asked who our fighter was, we just said, he is untried and very shy. So the bet was made, the ringmaster put forward 4 of his fighters to fight our hero. </div> <div> The next day, I went to see big red, he was a bit tired and sluggish, so we poured a couple of pots of beer down his throat, he just loved beer. That night, 3 minutes before the fight was due to start, if you can imagine, the ringmaster blowing out his chest, strutting his stuff and introducing his fighters in the blue corner. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the curtain part and a trailer was backed in with Big Red in the back and Marnie with him. He was wearing boxing gloves on his hands and his feet.</div> <bR> <div> I should tell you here that Big Red is a kangaroo, Marie found her on the roadside when she was a baby and had cared for her ever since, Big Red had adopted Marnie, it hated everyone else but her. In her arms she was docile as a kitten, but if Marnie was not close by, then panic and fear was the order of the day. Now when the ringmaster saw this massive Kangaroo heading for the ring, he just kept repeating you must be joking. </div> <div> Whereas Joey said, just watch Big Red and see how docile he is. Now by this time, there was about $7000 or $8000 in the pot, but for some reason, when Big Red rolled in, everyone wanted to put money on the fight, but a fair bit was going against him. All four fighters said they would fight, the ringmaster wanted to be referee, to make sure his fighters didn't beat the crap out of Big Red. Well just before the fight started in one corner were 4 of the meanest men, and in the other was one flaked out kangaroo, lying on the floor getting his ears tickled by Marnie. </div> <bR> <div> The bell rang, and Marnie disappeared much to the annoyance of Big Red, he looked around and saw two men walking towards him, that's when the murder started. Up jumped Red and hopped to meet this threat. Now I would like to say that I have seen a few things in my time in the bush, and instant fear is one of them. </div> <div> When a fully grown Kangaroo is advancing towards you swinging, fear takes a real good hold, I don't think the first guy quite understood that he was being used as a punch bag by a Roo, well he folded very quickly, the ringmaster jumped in to try and stop the fight, we all applauded when with the help of Big Red, he did a three quarter somersault backward flip that would have won him a gold medal at the Olympics. Well these other guys had a little sense they all charged and tried to grab hold of Big Reds paw's which they did quite successfully, unfortunately, they forgot about his feet. I am sure it is not nice to laugh when you see a guy grab his testicles and howl in pain, well 2 down and 2 definitely wondering if they had made a will. At this time, each was pushing the other forward and trying to dictate leadership, at this stage Big Red got distracted by a backside protruding from the ring, the first fighter was coming back to his senses, well a well aimed kick, sent him out the ring and flat on the floor, I didn't see him move for awhile, he was definitely awake but I think he just didn't want to move, just in case Red saw him. </div> <div> At this point one of the fighters nerve broke, and he got out of the ring, the other poor chap I felt really sorry for, I find it quite amazing to watch how fast someone can run around in circles, in a boxing ring with a kangaroo in hot pursuit. This guy kept calling out - so we thought we would go to his rescue, unfortunately we didn't make it in time, Big Red caught him and he to was given a right sending into the air. </div> <div> Well Marnie was asked to go get Red and we took him back to the pub for a celebration. After Big Red was a bit sozzled, we took him out back to let him sleep - then we went back and drank the night away. I don't recall that boxing group ever revisiting us again </div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>