The Great Bed Race

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" rowspan="2" width=210 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B><U>Assorted Stories</U></B></div> <div> <A HREF="id35.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Claude1"><B><U>Claude The Crow</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id56.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Claude Rturns"><B><U>Claude Returns</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id60.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Swivel Head"><B><U>Swivel Head the Koala</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id36.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Ghosts in the bush"><B><U>Ghosts in the Bush</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id37.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Max"><B><U>Max</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id38.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Great Bed Race"><B><U>The Great Bed Race</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id39.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Mr Webster"><B><U>Mr Webster</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id41.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Big Red"><B><U>Big Red</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id40.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Them Aussies"><B><U>Them Aussie are Tuff</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id42.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cokklebid"><B><U>Cokklebiddy</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id43.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Marriage in the Bush"><B><U>Marriage in the Bush</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id44.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="7 Strippers in Paradise"><B><U>7 Strippers in Paradise</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id45.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Brotherhood"><B><U>The Brotherhood</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id46.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Lady Penelope"><B><U>Lady Penelope</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id47.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Gday Mate"><B><U>Gday Mate</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id48.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Duke"><B><U>The Duke</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id49.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Bluey"><B><U>Bluey</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id50.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Walkers"><B><U>The Walkers</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id51.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Inventer"><B><U>The Inventor</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id52.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Lumpy"><B><U>Lumpy</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id53.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Madeline"><B><U>Madeline</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id54.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Stan the Pot Man"><B><U>Stan The Pot Man</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id55.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Our Man Stan"><B><U>Our Man Stan</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id57.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Bert The Cook"><B><U>Bert The Cook</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id58.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Coober Pedy"><B><U>Coober Pedy</U></B></A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=82 style=" border-bottom: 1px solid #999980;" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="0408dfe1egerdp.jpg"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" ><B>Glenn-Harris</B></FONT><B>     </B><B>|</B><B>     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="GlennHarris"><B>home</B></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" height=398 width="100%" colspan=2 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="0408dfc3.jpg"> <div> <B><U>The Great Bed Race</U></B></div> <bR> <div> I was working between jobs, my mates and I spent more time on the veranda of the pub than anything else. I guess when you spend so much time in the outback in the dust and heat, sometimes when you get back to town all you want to do is sit, and watch people. This time - this town, it was different. We were here for the Great Bed Race. </div> <bR> <div> About 1 month prior, we had bought an old hospital bed, it was pretty rusted up - but we spent many hours on it, cleaning it, we changed the wheels and put bigger ones on. We entered our bed along with 17 others. We had four of us to push one corner each but we needed a girl to sit on the bed and steer. Now with something like this event, it tends to attract a fair amount of people from around the place, we had miners, drovers, tourists also a fair amount of city folk to. There was also an Italian family that wandered into our town, they had a daughter, Lisa. She was very beautiful, shy and a real honey. We asked her father if she could ride on our bed, he was a bit hesitant but after we assured him it was safe, then he gave her permission. Now I didn't realise at the time, but Lisa loved attention, and she really wanted not only to be in this race but wanted to win it. But the competition was stiff. The betting on us was 12 to 1, the favourite being at odds on. So Lisa took each of us aside and told us that if we won this race then she would give each of us a present just from her. Now when a girl puts her arm around you and promises something, well my imagination really took hold, if only I had known that it wasn't just me she was promising. </div> <bR> <div> At precisely 12 noon with the sun at its maximum, with a shot gun aimed at the sky, BANG, it began and 17 groups of men and women screamed as one. The dust flew everywhere and so did a few choice words. This was to be 2 klm's of dust - dirt and torture, for not only had we to run real fast we also had to fight our way to. If another bed came to close then we would end up exchanging a couple of right hooks. There were no rules in this race. </div> <div> We had started off quite well - we had managed to work our way into 4th place. In front of us in 2nd and 3rd place, it seemed like a mini war had broken out, fist, pillows, and anything that wasn't tied down, was being used as a weapon. The leader was the favourite, these guys worked in the shearing sheds, they were incredibly fit, we knew we would never catch them. </div> <div> We knew the odds were stacked against us but we plodded on, faster and faster. That's when fate and temptation reared its head, Lisa who had been very quiet up to this point started to undress, she revealed a very skimpy swimsuit. We all drank in her beauty and remembered her promise, then each of us picked up our pace, and we moved forward. We passed the 2 in front of us, not really looking their way, I was told later that both teams ended up on the side of the track in an all out fighting brawl. We were picking up the leader but I am not sure if it was because we were running faster or that the other team had noticed Lisa in her skimpy outfit. We were howling like madmen screaming our mates on, to win, to win, to win. We came over the rise into the clearing, the crowd roared, We were neck and neck, Lisa was doing her bit and hitting the other people with her pillow. She sat up straight and uttered those words that I can never forget, "move your flamin arse", through either shock or amazement we inched forward and crossed the line a few inches, first. My next memory was of all the guys hugging the dirt and gasping for breath while Lisa, just sat there and pruned herself and Purred. </div> <bR> <div> As one we staggered to our feet and went to collect first prize, 30 cartons of Beer. After a couple of subs we regained some strength then went to collect our other prize. We all received Lisa's gift, she held us one by one and gave each of us a long wet kiss, I can remember the smell of her perfume and the touch of her skin long after, the last of her embrace. I never did see her again, but I did see her many times in my dreams thereafter. </div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>