Claude1

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" rowspan="2" width=210 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B><U>Assorted Stories</U></B></div> <div> <A HREF="id35.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Claude1"><B><U>Claude The Crow</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id56.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Claude Rturns"><B><U>Claude Returns</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id60.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Swivel Head"><B><U>Swivel Head the Koala</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id36.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Ghosts in the bush"><B><U>Ghosts in the Bush</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id37.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Max"><B><U>Max</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id38.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Great Bed Race"><B><U>The Great Bed Race</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id39.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Mr Webster"><B><U>Mr Webster</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id41.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Big Red"><B><U>Big Red</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id40.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Them Aussies"><B><U>Them Aussie are Tuff</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id42.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cokklebid"><B><U>Cokklebiddy</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id43.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Marriage in the Bush"><B><U>Marriage in the Bush</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id44.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="7 Strippers in Paradise"><B><U>7 Strippers in Paradise</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id45.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Brotherhood"><B><U>The Brotherhood</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id46.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Lady Penelope"><B><U>Lady Penelope</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id47.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Gday Mate"><B><U>Gday Mate</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id48.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Duke"><B><U>The Duke</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id49.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Bluey"><B><U>Bluey</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id50.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Walkers"><B><U>The Walkers</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id51.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Inventer"><B><U>The Inventor</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id52.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Lumpy"><B><U>Lumpy</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id53.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Madeline"><B><U>Madeline</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id54.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Stan the Pot Man"><B><U>Stan The Pot Man</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id55.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Our Man Stan"><B><U>Our Man Stan</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id57.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Bert The Cook"><B><U>Bert The Cook</U></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id58.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Coober Pedy"><B><U>Coober Pedy</U></B></A></div> <div> <B></B></div> </td> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=82 style=" border-bottom: 1px solid #999980;" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="0408dfe1egerdp.jpg"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" ><B>Glenn-Harris</B></FONT><B>     </B><B>|</B><B>     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="GlennHarris"><B>home</B></A></div> <bR> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" height=398 width="100%" colspan=2 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="0408dfc3.jpg"> <div> <B><U>Claude the Crow.</U></B></div> <bR> <div> CLAUDE........... Some time ago, I started feeding the birds, that sit on our roof, we have a wide variety that come in for breakfast, I started getting a family of Black Crows, mean buggers they are, like to make a loud noise. The young ones are the worst. Well I think one of them decided to adopt me, and train me up , I think the rest of his family have moved on. But he stayes everyday since and he has visited me </div> <bR> <div> This creature has been called more names by me than I care to say, I am sure he thinks he is a fighter plane cause when he lands on my roof he doesn't just land on his feet, he comes in at really cool angles, his feet touch down and he slides along the roof, the screeching noise is incredible. If I don't get up he then proceeds to make more noise, then jumps up and down continuously and poops on the roof. </div> <bR> <div> After I drag myself out of bed, oh, this is around 5.30am, I stand in the back yard and give him so much verbal abuse that the neighbours once complained, he in turn gives me the same, and when I have vented my fury, I feed him chunks of bread, okay so I am stupid :) </div> <bR> <div> The only time I felt I had won, was when we had daylight saving, and the clocks went back 1 hour, I deliberately got up early - set up the deck chair and waited for him, sure enough he came. Now this little beggar came swooping over the roof's, didn't see me until he was nearing landing, I stood up just as his claws went down to screeching mode - he saw me then missed the roof completely and head butted the chimney. Well I couldn't stop laughing, he staggered around the roof for a few seconds just shaking his head. :) </div> <bR> <div> I don't think he forgave me for that for a long time.. </div> </td> </tr></table></body>